Ticket Price: $10.25
Showtime: 2:55 pm
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 10 minutes
- Vroom, vroom
- Meet Paul Walker's new baby and wife who barely matters!!
- Explosion and robbery (by criminal mastermind & his group)
- Muscles, ass-kicking
- The Rock (a cop), throws 250+ lb. muscle heavy terrorist man against ceiling to receive necessary information
- Turns to criminal for help (BECAUSE WHY NOT, YOLO)
- WHO ELSE, VIN DIESEL!!!
- Michelle Rodriguez is still alive; Rock offers pardon for Diesel's entire crew in exchange for their help
- Vin Diesel reacts with this face:
- Team assembles
- Cars
- Guns
- Muscles
- Ass-kicking
- Over-the-top action ensues
- Some scantly clad-women
- Group tries to stop 2nd robbery
- Flippy cars, vroom vroom
- Electronic things that latch onto cars and make them go boom
- Michelle Rodriguez shoots Pin Diesel in shoulder
- "Letty? U makesz me sad"
- Vin Diesel reacts with this face:
- Re-grouping times!
- Everyone trying to find out more about criminal mastermind group
- Paul Walker turns himself in in America to get close to drug dealer
- "You'll only get close to him if he wants you to."
- Ludacris and Rock racially profiled while buying expensive cars because it's funny!!1111 (NOT)
- Michelle Rodriguez and Gina Carano (MMA fighter turned "actress" <--LOL) fight in subway
- Carano only hired to showcase MMA "ability" (LOL ASK CYBORG WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT THAT LOLOLOL)
- Other guys fight other guys
- Guns
- Breaking glass
- Embarrassment
- Vin Diesel sees Michelle Rodriguez after street race between the two
- She lost her memory in accident in Fast & Furious 4???
- He tries to reconnect with her, recanting old stories and by making this face:
- Next strike by terrorists will be on an airbase in Spain
- Over a microchip??? WUT??
- Good guys chase bad guys
- Bad guys have tank
- Tank runs over cars, vroom vroom
- Guns
- Missile launcher, explosion
- Pointless guy saves pointless girl
- Vin Diesel saves Michelle Rodriguez by LEAPING OFF A BRIDGE AND CATCHING HER MID-AIR, THEN FALLING ONTO WINDSHIELD OF CAR
- This was due to faith
- Also, by making this face:
- Airplane scene
- Chasing down plane on seemingly endless runway with basically nothing more than a gun and a Honda
- Guns
- MUSCLE-FLEX!!!!
- More fighting
- More muscles
- Vroom, out of plane
- Plane catches on fire, terrorist dies???
- Pointless girl???
- INSTEAD OF ASKING FOR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR A JOB WELL DONE, ALL THEY AS FOR IS THE INITIAL HOUSE IN THE GHETTO IN L.A. WHERE VIN DIESEL GREW UP...R U DUMB???????
- Tokyo
- Chases
- Muscles
- Jason Statham
- Vin Diesel's face:
Josh's Rating: 4/10
IMDB's Rating: 7.6/10
Do we recommend the film: It's obviously a marketable franchise, and I respect it for what it was able to do at the box office as a summer flick, but no, not really. In the end, it's just a love story (with cars, guns, muscles, and ass-kicking).
LOL at this post! Michelle Rodriguez should die a horrible death in every movie she makes. I hated her on Lost and that's carried over into everything else.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen any of these movies, and every time there is a new one I wonder 'How? Same story, cooler car?'
One of the Family Guy type cartoons (I don't remember which show) had an episode where the kids found a script for Fast & Furious 7. That was pretty funny.
~Deb
I am glad *someone* commented here, because while Josh and I were recapping the movie and I was writing this post, I thought "this is so ridiculously hilarious it's not even funny." I am my biggest fan, LOL. :P
DeleteI saw the first one when it came out at the dollar theater, and my friends forced me to watch "Tokyo Drift," but other than that, they are the same rehashed story with a slight tweak in plot. MEH.
People obviously love it because I think it's made $200+ million in the US alone. :O :O