Blogging about scents and candles and wax might seem trivial to most people, but it has been really fun and actually sort of therapeutic, in a way. I love to write, and I love things that smell good, so they seemed to go hand in hand.
Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have any filter when it comes to their online persona. You can basically be whoever you want to be online, and most likely, no one will have a clue. The line between what should and shouldn't be broadcast on the internet is thin; many people skate around this line too often.
Personally, I'm just me.
I'm not trying to be someone different, I'm just me, no frills, no fuss, no masks. There are some things in life, though, that are too big to be ignored.
A few weeks ago, I stopped updating for a bit. Josh's grandmother passed away three weeks ago. It was tough, but she was in her 80s. She lived a long, happy life, filled with people who loved her. She traveled, she loved flowers...she was not her dementia. She was just Grandma Nancy.
This week, on Thursday morning, my mother-in-law, Josh's mom Laura, passed away, just 3 short weeks after her mother. She had been sick with ovarian cancer for almost 2 years. In some ways, it seemed there was no hope with her diagnosis, but most of the time, she was optimistic, even when she was suffering. Her death was sudden, though. She was admitted to the hospital early Monday morning, and only a few short days later, here we are. Mostly, I feel terrible and want to cry all the time, but I know I can't do that to Josh; he would do the same and that would make it worse. My mom is right: I do try to put up walls, I try to be and act tough when I feel like breaking down, and I've always been this way...
...but there's no way to ignore the sadness this time. I don't know where to begin, so I guess I just won't start. We'd be here for a month. I could go on about how great she was, but I won't. These words don't need to be spoken because everyone who knew her knew there were great things about her. It won't help, it will just make it worse, and again, I think it's crossing the line. Just know this: she was great, she was strong, and she was loved.
Bottom line is, I needed something to turn to in my sadness to make me/us/we feel a little bit better. I came across an article just by chance while searching for...who even knows, now:
Scents for Helping with Relaxation & Depression, from LiveStrong.com
...even in times of sadness, scents seem to be the key to everything.
For the next few days, I am going to be lighting a series of candles not only in honor of Laura, but hopefully to put our minds and souls at ease. It might not seem like much, but it's worth a shot. These include but are not limited to: Yankee Candle's Lemon, Yankee Candle's Sage & Citrus, Yankee Candle's White Christmas, Bath & Body Works' Lavender Vanilla, The Bathing Gardens' Christmas Splendor, and Scentsy's Awakening. Most of these fragrances include scents notated in the article as being helpful for depression (I'm not depressed, just really, really sad, if there's a difference) and relaxation.
Needless to say, I might not be around for the next few days. My usual happy, quirky updates will resume shortly, but bear with me for a while. I know no one probably reads this besides family and friends, I just needed to release some of my negative energy in the only way I know how. Thanks for listening.