Haul: THE GREATEST CANDLE ON EARTH!!! EVER!!!

Now, that title might seem a teensy bit dramatic, so let me give you some backstory, mmmkay?

I follow a lot of random ass people on Instagram.
Before I made a separate account for my movie blog, I was following movie blogs, fashion sites, YouTubers, celebrities, candle folks, wax melters, jewelry vendors, dogs...seriously, everyone!
Well, nothing has changed, but one of the random accounts I was following was that of Sara M. Lyons. I must admit, I didn't know who she was when I saw this thing come across my news feed on that fateful summer's night, but she is affiliated with another candle vendor I follow and have been curious about, Candelles...
Anyways, I am getting off track. Sara is a bitchin' artist, and she teamed up with Candelles, who obviously pours candles, to make the greatest candle ever put on the face of this awe-inspiring planet. Ever. Seriously.
They sell this candle through Emerging Thoughts, and it was expensive (for me, someone who is cheap and uses coupons for everything), but I HAD TO HAVE THIS CANDLE.
HAD to have it.
Okay, just let me show it to you already......

DO YOU SEE THE ABOVE PHOTO?????
IT'S A CANDLE.
WITH THE ROCK'S FACE ON IT.
MY BOYFRIEND, THE ROCK.
ACTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE.
AFICIONADO AT CHARMING THE PANTS OFF OF LITERALLY EVERYONE.
ON A CANDLE.
AND IT SMELLS LIKE ROOT BEER.

Now, you might be thinking, "Lolo, ease up on the capslock, yo!"...oh, wait, no. You might be thinking, "Lolo, why on god's green earth would you want a candle with The Rock's face on it?"

I'm glad you asked, good comrade. Pull up a chair.

A joke began not so long ago, a friend of mine told me that, in jest, The Rock cannot go 2 minutes without breaking a sweat. Even if he's giving interviews, standing in a frame during a film, or simply carrying on a conversation, he is constantly sweating.

For some unknown reason, maybe the stars aligned right that night or something, but not having any prior affiliation or even necessarily love for The Rock, I took up for him in "a fight." I stood in his corner. I defended a man I barely know. I honored a man whom I will never meet (maybe one day???)

And a love affair began.

Ever since then, I have been obsessed with The Rock. All things Rock. His movie this summer, "San Andreas," was not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, and yet, The Rock is just so damn charming in it, he made it worth my while. Josh may or may not be jealous.

So, I forked over the money without a moment's hesitation and bought this bad boy. I have no ragrets.* I may not even melt it because it was so synchronicitous, at the right place and during the right time period after this joke was told, that I may want to hold onto it forever and ever, never letting my sweet Dwayney prince go.

So, Dwayne, this is my ode to you. My love, my light (now both literally and figuratively), and, eternally, my candle. As long as you don't make a "San Andreas 2," I will forever be your biggest fan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*spelled right, points if you can guess where it's from.