Saturday, December 8, 2012

Review: Yankee Candle's North Pole the mighty have fallen.

In the words of Robert De Niro, playing Al Capone in "The Untouchables":
"You got nothing. You're nothing but a lot of talk...! You hear me? Cause you got nothing! NOTHING! And if you were a man, you would've done it now! You don't got a thing, you punk!"
You've got nothing, Yankee.
That's it.
There is no more to say.
Another dud, another failure.
Why do I continue to spend my money on you?
As a votive, nothing.
As a tart, nothing.
...we're off with online vendors.

I even wrote a haiku to describe my pain:
With great sadness, you, 
Yankee Candle, have become
Everything I hate.

I accept cash only for your tips. I'll be here all week, probably trying to drown my nose in a sea of wax.

Yankee Candle North Pole
Cold Rating: 1/10; my first 1-rating of the blog, if I'm not might as well have been unscented.

Lit Rating: 2/10; tiny tiny tiny trace of mint when my nose was submerged underneath the wax.

Throw Rating: 1/10; N-O-T-H-I-N-G
Overall Rating: 1/10; please reference above haiku, if you don't catch my drift.


  1. Bummer! I gave up buying Yankee tarts because I was getting zero scent, but thought I'd try switching to votives. Seems those are hit or miss too. If I want to play the hit or miss game I'll get my candles at Walmart and save myself a ton of money. :(


    1. Yeah, it's such a bummer because they used to be the pinnacle of candles, you know? Maybe my warmer is too hot/high? Maybe it's a new wax? Maybe they are just getting worse, quality wise...*sigh*


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