Review: Yankee Candle's North Pole

...how the mighty have fallen.

In the words of Robert De Niro, playing Al Capone in "The Untouchables":

"You got nothing. You're nothing but a lot of talk...! You hear me? Cause you got nothing! NOTHING! And if you were a man, you would've done it now! You don't got a thing, you punk!"

You've got nothing, Yankee.
That's it.
There is no more to say.
Another dud, another failure.
Why do I continue to spend my money on you?
As a votive, nothing.
As a tart, nothing.
...we're off with online vendors.

I even wrote a haiku to describe my pain:

With great sadness, you, 

Yankee Candle, have become

Everything I hate.

I accept cash only for your tips. I'll be here all week, probably trying to drown my nose in a sea of wax.


~~~~~~~~~~
Yankee Candle North Pole
Cold Rating: 1/10; my first 1-rating of the blog, if I'm not mistaken...it might as well have been unscented.

Lit Rating: 2/10; tiny tiny tiny trace of mint when my nose was submerged underneath the wax.

Throw Rating: 1/10; N-O-T-H-I-N-G
Overall Rating: 1/10; please reference above haiku, if you don't catch my drift.